Sunday, May 08, 2011

Mothering

this little fella has been the biggest adventure of my life. Everything... and I mean everything is an exception when it comes to him.
Last night we went to a local carnival. Erin wanted to go on everything and Ryan.... well, he wants to do NOTHING.... the lights, the way things spin, at first it was all very exciting for him. As the sun went down, it began to get very dark . The lights lit up stronger, brighter and all the excessive stimulation was just too much for him to handle. He began flapping, pacing, darting off etc.... wayyyy too nervous for me to remain relaxed and enjoy.
Simple things... .like a fun night at a carnival... isn't for him.
I woke up this morning feeling better about things... trying to remind myself that it is a going to be an adventure forever for us... there is really NO such thing as normal anyways so I shouldn't get so wrapped up in worry about the fact that we may never be able to go "regular" places without having it be a truly unique experience.... I am a member of a club I never asked to join yet am proud to be a leader of this club. I feel honored to be given this role of parenting a special child like him.
Not to worry about the looks he is given, the stares and blatant RUDE looks he gets from people... of ALL ages even despite my very HARSH looks back... I guess its lack of knowledge on their part, and that really is MY issue, not his... and I know this... but some nights... its hard...
Some nights... I just want to go see a fabulous musician who has come into town play at a local pub.
Just sneak out and leave my kids with a babysitter like I used to have...
So this morning, I will spend Mothers Day completely unique to us.... chocolate cake for 2 for him and I ...for breakfast... , watching documentaries on trapeze artists, and farm animals.
and for this boy and this momma, what a perfect Mothers Day

Peace,
Kim

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